Train for Pleasure

Pregnancy was an incredible, awe-inspiring experience for me.

I loved that my body was gestating a new life. I loved that it knew what to do, that it was tapping into a primal template and that I had to do very little in conscious support.

Pregnancy was an incredible, awe-inspiring experience for me.

I loved that my body was gestating a new life. I loved that it knew what to do, that it was tapping into a primal template and that I had to do very little in conscious support.

I wanted to feel that same sense of super-humaness with my birth experience. To feel that primal force move through my body and guide it to birth. The problem was, short of taking a natural childbirth class, I didn’t know how to prepare for that.

I had no idea about optimal birthing conditions.

I underestimated the role of support.

I misunderstood the degree of surrender required.

I was in the dark about the landscape of hospital vs. homebirth.

I didn’t know how to connect to my body and its wisdom.

I had no clue pleasure even had a place at the table of birth.

Let’s celebrate!

I hope you had a great Mother’s day, honoring and being honored.

There is no doubt that a mama is source for the child and the whole family.

So I wonder why, in our culture, for a mom to take care of herself beyond the basics- to desire pleasure- is considered frivolous or even selfish?

And to think about pleasure in birth? Well that is almost sacrilegious, if not absurd.

But let me ask you this- Would you have been happier, as a child, if your mother had been happier? Not. A. Doubt.

Now imagine a new mom, postpartum. Doesn’t she deserve to start the wild ride of motherhood from a place of joy, pleasure, and empowerment? Doesn’t her baby? That doesn’t feel sacrilegious or absurd at all. Expectant mamas and their babies deserve no less.

Oh. Shit.

Have you ever felt anxious when your cycle was a few days late?
Maybe you weren’t as careful as you should have been…that one time?
You weren’t planning on getting pregnant and now the thought that you might be…

Oh. Shit.

I know I have felt this- as well as the immense relief that follows when that gorgeous blood finally flows- more times than I’d like to admit.

I heard a statistic recently that claimed about half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. I did a little research and found that that not only is that an accurate statistic, but also about half of women in the US will experience an unintended pregnancy by the time they are 45. That’s a whole lot of babies potentially being greeted with those two little words.

But we aren’t going to go there.

What I would like you to think about is… what is the possibility of you enjoying childbirth if you are not 100% aligned with your pregnancy?

Orgasms and Birth

When thinking about the idea of enjoying childbirth, there is nothing more intriguing… and hexing than the idea of an orgasmic birth. We are the children of Eve, or, at least, we have been brought up on that story. How could childbirth ever be physically pleasurable? Emotionally maybe, spiritually definitely, but physically?

If you take a moment, however, to really think about the body parts involved in birth- well, it isn’t as far of a reach as you might have thought, right?

The idea of orgasms and birth coinciding may take a bit of cultural reconditioning, but on a physical level they are quite complementary. There are two ways to think about it.

Orgasm as a birth tool.
Orgasm as a spontaneous part of the birthing process.

The first is relatively straightforward.
Orgasms can be used to jump start labor. They can be used to move a sluggish labor along. They can also, perhaps most intriguingly, be used to manage labor. How?
Orgasms are a powerful natural pain killer, more powerful than some of the strongest drugs out there. Don’t believe me? Google it. You will be flooded with all the research and stats.

The second- the idea of a spontaneous orgasmic birth is more slippery.

Dance with me

My mind can be so serious. If there is a problem, let’s discuss it, think about it, tackle it, fight. I tried arguing with the hospital staff during my first birth and learned that fighting leads to nowhere but pain and trauma.

I got wiser with my second and really thought about the issues, support, preparation, learning to surrender. I consciously created space for my mind to melt and my body to take over. That birth was much better.

My third birth was all about pleasure. Due to a sluggish labor, I started dancing. I danced that little girl down through my body and ecstasy replaced pain as my partner. Dance is one of the most sacred paths from maidenhood to motherhood.

Who knew dance could be so powerful?

Who knew pleasure is a force to be reckoned with???

Right now, 1 in 3 women on the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime.

This is serious stuff.

This coming Thursday, on Valentine’s Day, I will join ONE BILLION RISING a revolution of women and men who will WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to violence against women and girls.