How can we support a birth to progress with as much ease as possible?
There are many many tools an expectant mama and her support team can use. On the natural side- movement, massage and water can be incredibly supportive of the progression of labor.
Right now, I want to focus on how you can best holistically support the natural process of birth with PLEASURE.
You read that right. Pleasure.
Pleasure is the most holistic birthing tool there is.
How is that possible when 90% of women associate birth with pain? Well, your birthing body and your sexual body are one and the same.
“Why do most people tend to birth in pain rather than in pleasure?”
This is the question I am asked most often when I share about Ecstatic Birth. There isn’t just one answer to this, but a whole host of answers.
I’ve compiled what I see as the top 10 major factors women birth in pain as opposed to pleasure.
Some of them may surprise you…
10. It is our religious inheritance. Remember when Eve took a bite of that apple in the Garden of Eden? Womankind’s punishment for her sin was to suffer through childbirth. To birth any other way would be blasphemous.
9. It is our cultural inheritance. Look at all the messages around us- How does the media depict birth? How do the moms around you talk about birth? Overwhelmingly our cultural messages reinforce the idea that birth hurts. Women who have had alternate experiences are often ashamed to speak up and if they do, risked being ostracized or outcast, especially if they speak of experiencing pleasure during birth.
8. We are stuck in our heads. In modern society, our bodies are primarily a means to get our heads from place to place. Mental, rational intelligence is valued above all others and yet you can’t think your way through birth. Birth is a primal full body experience. We must be able to let go of rational thought and get fully into our bodies, feeling each sensation, and be guided by its wisdom.
7. We don’t trust our bodies. In this age of cancer there is an underlying current of fear that our bodies will betray us despite our best intentions. Our bodies seem do things we can’t control and don’t understand yet this is all a symptom of our grand disconnect from ourselves. Our bodies are so wise. They hold primal wisdom, generational wisdom, experiential wisdom, all in addition to our mental rational wisdom. If we can learn to listen and honor that it would change everything.
Some of the women I work with aren’t pregnant yet. Some are even still waiting for the right partner to create a family with.
These women can’t wait to have that experience themselves and their desire is so strong it propels them to reach out to me, perplexed and apologetic… “I know I’m not pregnant yet, but…”
I LOOOOoooooooove working with these women. They get it.
These are women whose consciousness has been awakened and turned on to the paradigm shift that an Ecstatic Birth represents- Birthing with pleasure, power, love, and full force of your natural primal feminine beauty.
These are women who don’t want to wait… for their partner, for their pregnancy to begin integrating this into their lives.
Many of them don’t even realize how genius of a move this is and I can feel the relief in their voices as I explain to them why.
Since l began offering my 20 minute complimentary consults, I have had the privilege of speaking with quite a few women at various stages of expectant motherhood, some pregnant and others hoping to be soon.
The overwhelming majority of calls I get are from mamas who are in what I call the “eeeek” zone, late 3rd trimester and full of fear.
At such a late stage in pregnancy it may feel like it is too late to undertake any truly transformational birth preparation, but in reality there are two major shifts that can make a huge difference taking her from “eeek” to positive anticipation of her baby’s birth- disarming her fears and using pleasure as a comfort tool.
Consistently, the biggest piece of advice I give women interested in Ecstatic Birth is to connect more deeply to their bodies and their sensuality.. to learn to feeeeeeel more pleasure.. to learn how to tap into that sensual energy at will.
This not only makes your physical experience of birth better, but it makes life in and out of the bedroom way better too.
There was a time long ago when I felt really whiney about my orgasms and then I met Saida Désilets who encouraged me to disconnect from any expectations and focus instead on my connection with myself.
Thus began an eye opening, mind blowing journey into what is possible.