So many of the women I speak to these days feel triggered, depressed, angry, tired, numb or heavy. The first thing you need to know is that right now upheaval is the norm rather than the exception. What is happening on a universal level is a stirring, a rising in energy which is bringing up old patterns to be released as we usher in a new age of being.
In the process of that release we are seeing the demons of our life, our society and culture flash before our eyes and nowhere is this more apparent than in the current election in the US. Consciously or unconsciously that can be very difficult to watch and weighs on each of us, especially women.
The word objectification has been thrown around for eons in relation to women. Let’s really take a look at that.. Treating a woman as an object… , a woman’s body as a “thing” to be owned, manipulated or governed.
There are the obvious ways– the ones we can readily identify and have been taught to look out for… beauty pageants, advertising, pornography, the seemingly endless fight over abortion, sex slavery….
Then there are the infinite more subtle ways in which we have been trained, in which we or our loved ones, despite the best of intentions, may be complicit.
Expectant Mamas often ask me what childbirth ed class they should take. My answer has always had to be somewhat vague- the most comprehensive one you can find where you feel philosophically aligned with the teacher.
I am a big believer in knowledge is power, but childbirth ed can be a tricky because the teacher’s angle can really define the experience as well as the information you receive.
Finally.. finally.. finally finally… there is a childbirth education program that I can wholeheartedly recommend.
For most of my younger years I was fiercely independent, adamant that I was strong enough, sharp enough, fill in the blank “x” enough, to navigate my path and create what I wanted in life.
Asking for help felt like a sign of weakness, an acknowledgment that I wasn’t capable enough to succeed on my own.
Motherhood knocked me waaaaay off that pedestal. I remember holding my baby boy, so small and tender and vulnerable and realizing how much I wanted for him in life. In that moment, I was his whole world, but I wanted so much more for him than I alone could give him. I realized that I would do anything to protect and nurture him towards his highest good, even ask for help.
Thus came my introduction to the wonderful world of motherhood where very little is possible through singular sheer determination and strength, but everything is possible within community.
Thirteen years in, here is the conclusion that I have come to-
Support is not a sign of your weakness, but a way to be stronger than you could ever be alone.
It is a lesson that doesn’t come naturally to me, nor for most of the women I work with. There is a glorification of the “hero’s journey” in our society, that vision of a single solitary person forging out into the world and succeeding against all odds.
But ladies, none of us are heroes.
We are 13 days out from the start of the Ecstatic Birth Practitioner Training and all my lifelong patterns and triggers are going off like sirens in my being…
“You should be doing.. X, Y, Z… C’mon girl, It’s crunch time!!! Work work WORK!”
And yet my sweet body.. (I brag that I’ve gotten so great at FEELING my body)..
My body is calm and cool and has a whole different vibe about her. Yes, there are times that she propels me into action (like right now), but just as often she simply wants to bask, revel, trust and receive.
I spent years beating myself up for not “doing” enough or correctly, fighting my being, fighting MY process and I recently had the epiphany that this is exactly what the patriarchy wants of us.
Not only is the story of Adam and Eve about punishing women to suffer through birth, but it is about distrust of the feminine on a grand scale. Our bodies are feminine. Mother nature is feminine. Conception, pregnancy, and birth are THE feminine process.
Yes, reclamation of childbirth requires reclamation of our relationships with our bodies and our sexuality, but it also requires reclamation of our feminine nature.
There are as many different ways to prepare for an Ecstatic Birth as there are women on the planet. Each woman is unique and has her own unique desires, experiences, fears and circumstances.
Connecting women to their inner wisdom is a huge part of the work that I do with my private clients. However there is one element that is completely universal, that I touch upon with every woman I work with, right away, up front and center.
The single most important factor in preparing for your birth.. is surrounding yourself with people that believe in you, your body’s wisdom, and can hold your vision for you, unequivocally.
I remember interviewing my first OB… asking her if she could support my desire to birth naturally. She said, “Of course! I will do whatever you want, but keep an open mind. Wait till you feel that first contraction…” If only I had had the wisdom, the courage, and the conviction to walk away at the moment and find someone truly aligned with my desire for a natural birth, I would have saved my body from a whole lot of trauma.
Imagine if your practitioner spoke to you about using pleasure as a holistic birthing tool? About accessing the wisdom of your body, the bliss that is always available within? Imagine if she could fully hold your vision of an Ecstatic Birth for you mind, body, and soul- even when you were doubting yourself?