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Supporting Women in Ecstatic Birth

As the idea of Ecstatic Birth (and its Orgasmic soul sister) becomes more widespread, demand is rising for practitioners that can support expectant moms in these modalities.

If you have been working as a birth practitioner you have likely witnessed a wide variety of births– ones that make your heart sing and others that may have made your heart ache. You know that there is no way to ensure any specific outcome in birth- that is a co-creation between the mom, the baby and the divine.  However, the difference between a birth that feels traumatic as opposed to ecstatic is rarely in the specific details, but in how a birthing mom processes the experience.

Practitioners, you stand at the doorway of this very sacred rite of passage, and you have a magnificent opportunity to elevate the experience of every woman you work with.  I’ve put together some of the most essential factors to consider in your prenatal and birth work.

A simple strategy to elevate your birth experience

Childbirth can be deeply empowering, pleasurable, ecstatic and even orgasmic.

Yet most women experience the opposite.

There is a HUGE  gap between the possibility and the reality.

The gap is not whether or not Ecstatic Births actually exist.

The gap is in how we are raised, our relationships to our bodies, the structures of training and support that exist (or not) for women, the healthcare system, the legal system and so much more.

I see so so many women judging themselves harshly or feeling down in the dumps for not “achieving” this ideal.

That is the heart of the matter right there–

Ecstatic Birth is an IDEAL and ideals are not a measure by which to judge ourselves, but a source of inspiration, elevation.

While bringing the image of the picture perfect birth you have in your mind into reality is incredibly difficult,  (when does life ever conform perfectly to our ideals?) elevating your experience of birth is astoundingly simple.

Let me show you what I mean via this fool-proof 3 step strategy:

How do you prepare for an Ecstatic Birth?

The day your baby is born is one of the most momentous days of your life. Childbirth can be one of the most transformative ecstatic experiences in a woman’s life.

Unfortunately, that is not the typical experience our society is serving up in labor and delivery. Most women emerge from childbirth in a haze, many of them unconscious victims of trauma (as I was). We accept this because that is what we are taught childbirth is meant to be, culturally, religiously, and societally. If we make the same choices as everyone around us, this is what we will usually get.

To have a different experience, a woman must be willing to make different choices, to prepare with her mind, body and soul in a different direction. Ecstatic Births are not the norm (yet) and so it requires a certain ferocity to forge a different path.

Childbirth is Different Now

The full anatomy of the clitoris wasn’t explored until 1998 with discoveries emerging as recently as 2005. Our understanding of this misunderstood part of our feminine selves is less than 20 years old.Can you see what this means?

Can you see what this means?

Not a single childbearing woman today in the US had access to truly understanding the depth and breadth of her pleasure anatomy when she was growing up.

The point, ladies, is that even though women have been birthing since the beginning of time, the landscape is now completely different.  The consciousness you grew up with which did not value your experience or your pleasure or the role of pleasure in your sexual birthing body is OUTDATED.

We know more about the clitoris now than ever before and here is the crux of it– it is not a “bonus” or side show in any way, a little button to play with for kicks.

It is an integral part of our female reproductive anatomy that goes DEEP into and surrounds our feminine centers. This has MASSIVE repercussions for childbirth that begin with this simple idea:

Pleasure is not a reward for a job well done, but a vital component of doing a something well.

Most women have no concept that pleasure isn’t just a possible “bonus” in the birthing process (or even that!), but that it is actually an integral part…

At a time, when Lamaze International reports less women than ever before are taking childbirth ed…. it is MOST critical and GAME CHANGING.

Never before have there been SO MANY opportunities to raise your consciousness and learn about the glory and pleasure and ecstasy available to you in your body during birth or otherwise!

How does your Qi flow?

This week on the blog I am excited to introduce you to a very special woman, Dr. Peta Elmer. I met Peta a few years back when she joined me for my sensual expansion study group and then took the leap with me when I launched my first ever Ecstatic Birth Practitioner Training.

Peta practices Chinese medicine in Australia and is as passionate about supporting women in pleasurable birth as I am. She is actively involved in our budding community of Ecstatic Birth practitioners (graduates are invited back into subsequent trainings each year) and consistently brings amazing insights into our work and training.

One of the most remarkable aspects of my Ecstatic Birth Practitioner Training is the unique zones of genius each woman brings forth, building and expanding our collective wisdom around Ecstatic Birth.

(Birthworkers, click here for more info and to join my Ecstatic Birth Practitioner Training beginning June 13th.)

In this blog post, Peta illustrates how the constriction of sexual energy throughout a woman’s life is a root cause of the sensation of pain in birth and shares several suggestions on how to support the flow of Qi for pleasurable birthing.

It is an honor to share her wisdom with you! Enjoy her as I do…