My Journey

The seeds of Ecstatic Birth were conceived years ago with my first pregnancy. I desired a birth that would leave me breathless and marveling at my body’s strength, wisdom, and capacity to bring forth life – but I had no idea how to get there. I was surrounded by love and encouraged to get the “best” doctor who would deliver me in the “best” hospital to stay “safe.” I listened, enrolled in a natural childbirth class, and wished upon a star.

My first birth was a lot more traumatic than ecstatic. It set into motion a string of heartbreaking events that shook my very foundation and forced me to re-evaluate how to operate in this world. Through that reconsideration, I learned to connect to the wisdom of my body and the importance of pleasure to my well-being. It was only after I had integrated these lessons that I was able to conceive again. That birth was my wake up call.

I decided that if I was ever going to give birth again, it had to be completely different. As I contemplated another pregnancy, I sought providers who shared my vision and I began to train with my mind, body, heart, and soul towards that vision. As a result, I experienced a beautiful, Zen birth. Postpartum, my body felt so good, so healthy. What took me months to recover from the first time took only hours, days the second time. I felt so strong, so beautiful, so alive, and thrilled with my femininity. There was more love and happiness flowing through me than I had ever experienced and I felt totally in tune with my sensual nature.

Four months later, I discovered I was pregnant again.

This time I knew I could do it. I knew my body was fully capable of giving birth without intervention, but I was curious if I could enjoy it. I spent the next nine months putting my attention there, researching and preparing in every way that I could imagine, to infuse pleasure into my birthing experience. I really enjoyed that birth. I was dancing with my contractions, dancing through them, really partying with the universe. When I was done, I kept saying to my husband, “Why don’t people know? Why didn’t I know that it could be this good?”

I felt called to tell everyone, to spread the word as best as I could. I loved watching women’s faces, their mouths agape as I shared my story all over Manhattan, my story a mere sliver in the spectrum of what is possible. I discovered that I wasn’t a fluke, that this is all teachable and learnable – regardless of outcome. As someone once shared with me, “How you birth is how you live your life.” Stuff comes up in birth just as it does in life, and it is how you handle it that makes the difference between traumatic and ecstatic.

Ecstatic Birth is my way of formalizing what I have been doing informally for years – researching all the ways a woman can enjoy childbirth and making that information accessible to as many women as possible.

Will you join me?