Top Ten Reasons Women Birth in Pain (rather than pleasure)

“Why do most people tend to birth in pain rather than in pleasure?”

This is the question I am asked most often when I share about Ecstatic Birth. There isn’t just one answer to this, but a whole host of answers.

I’ve compiled what I see as the top 10 major factors women birth in pain as opposed to pleasure.

Some of them may surprise you…

10. It is our religious inheritance. Remember when Eve took a bite of that apple in the Garden of Eden? Womankind’s punishment for her sin was to suffer through childbirth. To birth any other way would be blasphemous.adam and eve

9. It is our cultural inheritance. Look at all the messages around us- How does the media depict birth? How do the moms around you talk about birth? Overwhelmingly our cultural messages reinforce the idea that birth hurts. Women who have had alternate experiences are often ashamed to speak up and if they do, risked being ostracized or outcast, especially if they speak of experiencing pleasure during birth.

8. We are stuck in our heads. In modern society, our bodies are primarily a means to get our heads from place to place. Mental, rational intelligence is valued above all others and yet you can’t think your way through birth. Birth is a primal full body experience. We must be able to let go of rational thought and get fully into our bodies, feeling each sensation, and be guided by its wisdom.

7. We don’t trust our bodies. In this age of cancer there is an underlying current of fear that our bodies will betray us despite our best intentions. Our bodies seem do things we can’t control and don’t understand yet this is all a symptom of our grand disconnect from ourselves. Our bodies are so wise. They hold primal wisdom, generational wisdom, experiential wisdom, all in addition to our mental rational wisdom. If we can learn to listen and honor that it would change everything.

Expectant Mama’s Guide to Ecstatic Birth

Can you really enjoy childbirth? How is that possible? Is it possible for you?

How do you navigate your birth option to find the ones that are right for you?

How do you harness the power and pleasure in your body to have a safe and easy delivery?


In this FREE 10 day course you will receive:

*Daily lessons, delivered via email to your inbox

*An Introduction to key components of Ecstatic Birth including,

Pleasure as a birth tool

Facing your fears

Developing your inner wisdom

Navigating your big decisions

+ practices you can use to prepare

*Exclusive discounts on The Ecstatic Birth Training Sessions and Private Training Packages

I Need Your LOVE + a Present

Will you support me with pleasure by sharing some of the things you love about what I do, and what you desire for yourself or your clients?

As a thank you, you are the very first to be invited to my 10 day Ecstatic Birth email training. Totally free, consider it a Mother’s Day present from me to you.

Here is the link to register for the course.. and give me some love.

Truth is, I’m gifting you the class either way. All the feedback fields are optional, so share as much or as little as you are inspired.

The course launches on my 40th birthday May 18th, as I can think of no better way of celebrating where I have been and where I am going.

Are you hungry for more pleasure?

Amplify Your Sensuality Consistently, the biggest piece of advice I give women interested in Ecstatic Birth is to connect more deeply to their bodies and their sensuality.. to learn to feeeeeeel more pleasure.. to learn how to tap into that sensual energy at will.

This not only makes your physical experience of birth better, but it makes life in and out of the bedroom way better too.

There was a time long ago when I felt really whiney about my orgasms and then I met Saida Désilets who encouraged me to disconnect from any expectations and focus instead on my connection with myself.

Thus began an eye opening, mind blowing journey into what is possible.

50 Shades of Truth

Wow what a phenomena 50 Shades has brought on…  releasing us from the shackles of our sexual repression. Or has it?

There is no doubt it has blasted open DESIRE…

… and with it conversations about sexuality and pleasure.50 shades

Thank you EL James for liberating us from the confines of sexual propriety. Thank you for bringing our deep feminine lust upfront and center.

We women are hungry for pleasure. There can no longer be any doubt about that and now we are a little less shy about it.

The 50 Shades trilogy feeds on women’s fantasies and truths.

Eternal truth #1 is that we want pleasure. We want rapture. We want to shatter and dissolve with the force of our orgasm.

All of this is true and yet I am so grateful that my daughters are too young to be a witness to any of this.

(Moms of teenage girls, I am holding a strong love beam over you at this moment in time.)

My objection has nothing (ok maybe just a very little) to do with the whips and chains and has everything to do with Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.