Blog Post

When it hurts SO bad…

Let’s get real:  More women experience pain than pleasure in birth.

So much of our medical system is built around rescuing women from the intensity of childbirth.

Unfortunately our most common interventions- epidurals, episiotomies, and elective c-sections- all contribute to the experience of MORE pain in the long run, not less. 

What is the antidote?

As strange as it may seem… PLEASURE!

Pleasure is the most holistic birthing tool there is!!!

Pleasure transmutes the intensity of sensation from pain to… yes, PLEASURE.

Pleasure stimulates oxytocin flow in the body which helps labor progress.

Pleasure engorges the vulva which allows it to stretch wide open without burning or tearing.

I could go on and on and on….  but even more exciting, I’d like to introduce you to someone who can talk about what it felt like to use pleasure when she was experiencing a whole lot of pain.

When it hurts SO bad…

I met Kyle Shepard recently in a training we are doing in women’s sexuality.  I was sharing about Ecstatic Birth and many women were amazed and others were horrified, but Kyle piped up and shared quite unabashedly about her birth:

“My husband lightly stroked my nipples while I touched my clitoris”

Ahhh… a woman after my own heart!

Here is the coolest part: That experience was 21 years ago!!! Talk about being progressive and visionary….Wow!


  • Experiences with cramps during the menstrual cycle can inform how you handle intensity in labor… what soothes your cramps?  
  • Sensual pleasure stimulates oxytocin flow which supports the progression of labor 
  • It helps the tissues of the vulva engorge which allows your body to open WIDE 
  • It also FEELS really good, bringing the sensation of pleasure into your birthing sensations There is an innate body wisdom around birthing with pleasure 
  • Birth is a rite of passage that sets the stage into motherhood and a new state of womanhood Pleasurable birth has been around since the dawn of time… what is changing now is that more women are willing and able to speak about their experiences 

…And so much MORE!

I am super excited for you to hear about Kyle’s birth AND how that experience rippled out into her experience as a woman and mother.  

So often we get so wrapped up in the BIRTH aspect of childbirth we can forget that it is a rite of passage into motherhood.

Pleasure can empower us in the birthing room AND that is something that continues to fuel us waaay beyond birth.

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Welcome! I'm Sheila Kamara Hay

I’m passionate about providing you with inspiration, practices and resources for your highest pleasure in life and birth!

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PS:  You deserve to have an empowering and pleasurable birth experience and so does your baby!

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Revolutionary combination of information, mindset shifts, tools and practices to prepare for PLEASURE in childbirth!!  O BABY! is the very heart of my work, the distillation of all my training and research in one very potent and sexy package!

O BABY! is everything I wish I would have known when preparing for my first birth– the very things that could have prevented my traumatic birth (and support you in creating your ECSTATIC Birth!) ????

Expectant and Future Mamas, read on….

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