Blog Post

I need this desperately and so do you

(This blog is super long, but I promise you it is worth every letter, every minute.)

Ever beat up on yourself for not showing up the way you thought you “should”?

I know I have.
I am a classic introvert.

I need a whole lot of time to myself to feel nourished.
I’m pretty quiet by nature.
And I would rather be real with one person over a cup of tea than put on a smile and go to a party.

Growing up that had a huge WRONG label written all over it.

My organic way of being challenged my parents, triggered strangers, and had me expending all kinds of energy to become “RIGHT” by societal standards.

It was exhausting and soul crushing.

One of my core journeys has been to get right with myself and I have, in a large part thanks to increased information, research and activism on the topic. (Thank you Susan Cain!).

Learning about my design has been pivotal in being able to truly honor and approve of myself.

It has released my energy to create and contribute in ways that feel amazing to me.

(Me, soaking in the love of our oldest trees at Sequoia National Park)

The basis of supporting women and practitioners in Ecstatic Birth is getting in alignment with the design of the female body in birth and preparing for childbirth from that place.

This work has revealed a massive layer of “WRONGNESS” that women have internalized due to…
living in a feminine body in a world that is designed and optimized for masculine ways of being.

This extends waaaaay beyond childbirth.
It touches every aspect of our lives.
It affects how we show up and how we create (no pain no gain!).
It affects our energy levels (anyone depleted?)
And ultimately it affects how we feel about ourselves (Wrong! Not good enough…)

We do not realized how much effort we are expending because we do not know any different.

We do not have the crucial information we need about our design in order for us to get right with ourselves.

All we know is that something is off and we don’t feel good about ourselves.. am I right? 

As the feminine is rising we are getting more and more attuned to this– thank goodness!!!

My hope is that by the time my daughters are my age, feminine ways of being will be as fully understood and honored as that of an introvert.

The piece that I want to share with you– desperately, passionately– is the piece that has completely transformed my life in the last couple of years.

When I launched my business back in 2011, I consciously chose to birth it like I had learned to birth my babies in pleasure and in complete alignment with my body and my inner wisdom.  The result was phenomenal.

As the years passed and I learned about “how to do business,” I found myself struggling more and more. I got lost in the “shoulds” of being an entrepreneur in the digital age.

I had a hard time doing what I was told to do in order to be successful and began to feel really down on myself.

You can probably guess what happened just by reading this, but it took me a while to figure out that— I had fallen out of alignment with my feminine design.

My brilliance in launching my business was in realizing that I could do it my way, in pleasure, the way I had birthed my girls.

But once I actually did that, I fell in line with societal standards and ways of being which are primarily defined and maintained to support the flow of masculine energy.

Masculine energy is linear… go go go…  push through obstacles.. when the going gets tough.. keep going.

This mode was in complete misalignment with how I operate and thrive which is deeply feminine.

Ecstatic Birth work is a deep dive into the feminine, so each time I worked with a client or taught a class I was becoming more and more connected with my feminine energy and thus becoming more and more misaligned with “business standards” of creation.

I literally could not do it- show up for my work the way I thought I “should.”
I struggled and found myself wrong for it.

This work was too important to me and to the world to walk away from.

I remember so clearly the moment this all shifted.
I was leaning up against a tree at the end of my morning walk, speaking to my friend Kathleen and contemplating how to move forward.

I heard myself say the words, “I have to find another way” which spiralled me back to that moment pregnant with my second child- “I have to find another way. I can not give birth like that again.”

As I realized where I was standing on my pathway, this place that I had been before, the energy of the earth began moving through me in ecstatic waves. I felt overwhelmed with emotion, gratitude, and a deep connection to all that is.

Here is what I got in that moment— I am not wrong or incapable or unable.

I am deeply feminine living in a world created for the masculine.

My ability to thrive is inextricably intertwined with being able to fully honor my feminine design and the way my feminine energy flows.

My ability to thrive is limited as I strive to exist by the modes of being that primarily support the masculine flow of energy.

Since I came back into alignment with my feminine design, my passion has reignited, Ecstatic Birth is expanding and above all I have been thriving.

This is what I am so passionate for you to know–
If you feel “wrong” or find yourself struggling to showing up the way you think you “should”, this is because you are living in a world that is in misalignment with the very nature of your being.

Once you learn your feminine design you can let go of all that struggle and begin to operate in ways that nurture your being and enable you to THRIVE.

I need to honor my feminine desperately and so do you.

The planet needs us.

My gift and passion for birth has brought me unique insight into the Feminine Flow of Creation.

This is the basis of my newest offering: The Ecstatic Goddess

If you are ready to begin living and creating in full alignment with your very nature, I invite you to join me for this intimate journey.

“Can you imagine what the economy would look like if women were deeply inspired and felt safe enough to fully participate?

What would the world look like if the current social operational blueprints in place were not egregious to their health and well being but rather spurred a deep and vivacious sense of creative desire and wonderous togetherness belonging to the pulsing vibrancy of a natural world?

This is the world that Sheila’s extraordinary body of work so courageously births. A framework, a context, a fluency in the primordial language of the Female Dwelling, the True meaning of Gyn- Ecology.

Sheila boldly and courageously flips the  world systems of pain and shame off of their obsolete axes, attuning men, women and babies to be, creative and physical alike, to the highest wisdom of the Female Natural Creative Design.

A personal and social ecology, a new cultural design, based on life giving, life affirming, life generating, life celebrating potency and vigor. This is the epic depth and breadth of Sheila’s profound and world changing body of work.

Prepare to be Reborn!”

Devla Mahler
Harvard trained Behaviorist, specializing in Socio-Ecological Models of Change

Fair warning– The more you connect with your feminine flow, the harder it will be to function out of alignment with your true nature.   

For more details and to register for The Ecstatic Goddess, click here.


Welcome! I'm Sheila Kamara Hay

I’m passionate about providing you with inspiration, practices and resources for your highest pleasure in life and birth!

Begin here:
Much love,
Sheila Signature

PS:  I currently have a few private clients slots open for Sensual and Orgasmic Expansion.


See all the details and apply here.

Currently enrolling:

The Ecstatic Goddess Circle

The Ecstatic Goddess Circle is an invitation to come together with others forging this revolutionary new path, one that honors the body and the feminine.

We will explore the underlying design of the Feminine FLOW of Creation™ - a blueprint that will lead you back to your body, amplify your ecstatic pleasure, and allow you to realize your deepest desires with ease and joy!

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Pleasure reBirth,

a Sensual Expansion journey

You will learn how these 3 elements can really support you in navigating intensity in a way that FEELS good.