My first birth left me wounded. Unable to sit and stand properly for days. I was emotionally dazed for over a year, only to be awakened by loss- miscarriage, after miscarriage. I was so dazed that it took deep grief, a sledgehammer over my head, to wake me. Fast forward to me, pregnant, fully healed body AND SOUL from the trauma of that first birth, I knew this birth had to be different. I could not be passive (again) and hope for the best. This birth was an invitation for me to embody my power, to mother myself, and my baby with all of my feminine ferocity. I was so terrified. How could I begin?
You will never guess where I am-
I’m cringing as I write this…
That is right. I am on vacation. And right now, my whole being is fully resisting sharing this information with you. Why? Because I just announced the details of the upcoming Ecstatic Birth Body Series. There is much work to be done. Shouldn’t I be taking this a whole lot more seriously? I mean, last time, I barely left my computer’s side and ran myself totally ragged getting ready. Shouldn’t I be doing that again?
When was the last time you stopped to think about what was next on your to-do list? If you are like most of us, it was probably just a few seconds ago.
But when was the last time you stopped to consult with your body, to feel what you were going to do next. If you are like most of us, you are probably thinking, “Ummm… I don’t remember.” (or Ummm….never!)
There are no two ways about it. We live in our heads. Even those of us that know, in our heads, that our body contains a whole lot of wisdom, forget to go there looking for it. And even when we do, chances are we aren’t quite sure we understand it, or believe it. I know I personally struggle with this all the time.
Childbirth is a full throttle body trip. We can use our heads to prepare, fill it with all kinds of information to empower us, help us relax, but when it comes down to it we need to be able to surrender ourselves over to our bodies. Raw. Primal. Body trip.
That can be pretty scary if you aren’t used to handing over the reins and it isn’t the sort of thing you can just order your mind to do. It is the sort of thing that takes practice and as we know, practice takes time.
You know that super high super giddy feeling of crazy energy running through you when you are soooooo excited about something?!?!?
I’ve been running on that since I launched the Ecstatic Birth Foundation Series. I am SO high off that baby. Let me show you why–
10 INCREDIBLE pioneers in the field of birth and sensuality,
Over 80 passionate women, 13 different countries, representing all 5 continents,
Pregnant women, birth professionals, and women who plan on getting pregnant someday, all cracking open their beliefs about birth together, in community!
Can you see why I’ve been positively jittery with excitement?
But staying high like that, let me tell you, it starts to feel really uncomfortable. I mean, I’m not used to energy of that magnitude running through my body and I noticed myself starting to block it, ignore it, shut it down…
Ecstatic Birth is my baby, my fourth child, and just last week as I was frantically juggling it amidst the chaos of my other three, I paused and recognized a thoroughly embarrassing fact– none of this was feeling all that ecstatic. With three small kids transitioning into a new school year, each with their own schedules for me to manage, a dog with a bladder infection, a nanny that unexpectedly moved back to her country, the endless march of planning for three meals a day, and now this, Ecstatic Birth, a whole new magnificent love child demanding my attention—- I had totally lost my center.
When I first made the decision to create Ecstatic Birth and help spread the word that childbirth is something that women can ENJOY, I realized that it was my chance to walk my walk. I contend that the way a woman gives birth is intimately intertwined with her approach to life and sensuality. In birthing this new path, I believed I could model that the principles of Ecstatic Birth apply as much to birthing a creative project, as they do to birthing a real live infant.