My first birth left me wounded. Unable to sit and stand properly for days. I was emotionally dazed for over a year, only to be awakened by loss- miscarriage, after miscarriage. I was so dazed that it took deep grief, a sledgehammer over my head, to wake me. Fast forward to me, pregnant, fully healed body AND SOUL from the trauma of that first birth, I knew this birth had to be different. I could not be passive (again) and hope for the best. This birth was an invitation for me to embody my power, to mother myself, and my baby with all of my feminine ferocity. I was so terrified. How could I begin?
The Ecstatic Birth Body Series has officially lauched- and our first session was absolutely stunning. Sheri Winston blew the socks off the participants with her tour of a Woman’s anatomy and all the connections she drew between the sexual and birthing processes. I received so many acknowledgments from participants like this FB post: “First class of the Body Series and I’m already a whole new woman. The bliss door is open!!” I am so proud of this baby being born, of myself for the part I play in its creation and nurture and growth. And yet, when the session ended, I was trembling head to toe. Trembling with an overwhelming feeling of SHAME. Shame. Can you believe it?
Oh my, ladies. Birth, it cracks you wide open. It has the potential to be the deepest most profound healing experience of your life. It is a rite of passage, no doubt, to support your growth into becoming the mother you need to be for your child. And the shame? We live in a world that doesn’t understand sexuality as sacred…
You will never guess where I am-
I’m cringing as I write this…
That is right. I am on vacation. And right now, my whole being is fully resisting sharing this information with you. Why? Because I just announced the details of the upcoming Ecstatic Birth Body Series. There is much work to be done. Shouldn’t I be taking this a whole lot more seriously? I mean, last time, I barely left my computer’s side and ran myself totally ragged getting ready. Shouldn’t I be doing that again?
When was the last time you stopped to think about what was next on your to-do list? If you are like most of us, it was probably just a few seconds ago.
But when was the last time you stopped to consult with your body, to feel what you were going to do next. If you are like most of us, you are probably thinking, “Ummm… I don’t remember.” (or Ummm….never!)
There are no two ways about it. We live in our heads. Even those of us that know, in our heads, that our body contains a whole lot of wisdom, forget to go there looking for it. And even when we do, chances are we aren’t quite sure we understand it, or believe it. I know I personally struggle with this all the time.
Childbirth is a full throttle body trip. We can use our heads to prepare, fill it with all kinds of information to empower us, help us relax, but when it comes down to it we need to be able to surrender ourselves over to our bodies. Raw. Primal. Body trip.
That can be pretty scary if you aren’t used to handing over the reins and it isn’t the sort of thing you can just order your mind to do. It is the sort of thing that takes practice and as we know, practice takes time.
You know that super high super giddy feeling of crazy energy running through you when you are soooooo excited about something?!?!?
I’ve been running on that since I launched the Ecstatic Birth Foundation Series. I am SO high off that baby. Let me show you why–
10 INCREDIBLE pioneers in the field of birth and sensuality,
Over 80 passionate women, 13 different countries, representing all 5 continents,
Pregnant women, birth professionals, and women who plan on getting pregnant someday, all cracking open their beliefs about birth together, in community!
Can you see why I’ve been positively jittery with excitement?
But staying high like that, let me tell you, it starts to feel really uncomfortable. I mean, I’m not used to energy of that magnitude running through my body and I noticed myself starting to block it, ignore it, shut it down…