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The BEST childbirth ed?!??

Expectant Mamas often ask me what childbirth ed class they should take. My answer has always had to be somewhat vague- the most comprehensive one you can find where you feel philosophically aligned with the teacher.   

I am a big believer in knowledge is power, but childbirth ed can be a tricky because the teacher’s angle can really define the experience as well as the information you receive.

Finally.. finally.. finally finally… there is a childbirth education program that I can wholeheartedly recommend.

The Single Most Important Factor

There are as many different ways to prepare for an Ecstatic Birth as there are women on the planet. Each woman is unique and has her own unique desires, experiences, fears and circumstances.

Connecting women to their inner wisdom is a huge part of the work that I do with my private clients. However there is one element that is completely universal, that I touch upon with every woman I work with, right away, up front and center.

The single most important factor in preparing for your birth.. is surrounding yourself with people that believe in you, your body’s wisdom, and can hold your vision for you, unequivocally.

I remember interviewing my first OB… asking her if she could support my desire to birth naturally. She said, “Of course! I will do whatever you want, but keep an open mind. Wait till you feel that first contraction…”  If only I had had the wisdom, the courage, and the conviction to walk away at the moment and find someone truly aligned with my desire for a natural birth, I would have saved my body from a whole lot of trauma.

Imagine if your practitioner spoke to you about using pleasure as a holistic birthing tool? About accessing the wisdom of your body, the bliss that is always available within? Imagine if she could fully hold your vision of an Ecstatic Birth for you mind, body, and soul- even when you were doubting yourself?

Orgasms and Birth

When thinking about the idea of enjoying childbirth, there is nothing more intriguing… and hexing than the idea of an orgasmic birth. We are the children of Eve, or, at least, we have been brought up on that story. How could childbirth ever be physically pleasurable? Emotionally maybe, spiritually definitely, but physically?

If you take a moment, however, to really think about the body parts involved in birth- well, it isn’t as far of a reach as you might have thought, right?

The idea of orgasms and birth coinciding may take a bit of cultural reconditioning, but on a physical level they are quite complementary. There are two ways to think about it.

Orgasm as a birth tool.
Orgasm as a spontaneous part of the birthing process.

The first is relatively straightforward.
Orgasms can be used to jump start labor. They can be used to move a sluggish labor along. They can also, perhaps most intriguingly, be used to manage labor. How?
Orgasms are a powerful natural pain killer, more powerful than some of the strongest drugs out there. Don’t believe me? Google it. You will be flooded with all the research and stats.

The second- the idea of a spontaneous orgasmic birth is more slippery.

Epidurals and Ecstasy?

One of the questions I get asked most often when I tell people about Ecstatic Birth is-

“Can you do this with an Epidural?”

The short answer is “Yes.”

The long answer involves a discussion around consciousness and nerve endings.

Ecstasy is a state of rapture that includes emotional, physical, and spiritual components. In childbirth, this is most likely when a woman operates from a place of consciousness and empowerment.

This can definitely include the decision to allow interventions as long as a woman is making that decision from a fully informed perspective, eyes wide open and connected to her own personal truth and inner wisdom. (Like in this story about an ecstatic c-section)

Train for Pleasure

Pregnancy was an incredible, awe-inspiring experience for me.

I loved that my body was gestating a new life. I loved that it knew what to do, that it was tapping into a primal template and that I had to do very little in conscious support.

Pregnancy was an incredible, awe-inspiring experience for me.

I loved that my body was gestating a new life. I loved that it knew what to do, that it was tapping into a primal template and that I had to do very little in conscious support.

I wanted to feel that same sense of super-humaness with my birth experience. To feel that primal force move through my body and guide it to birth. The problem was, short of taking a natural childbirth class, I didn’t know how to prepare for that.

I had no idea about optimal birthing conditions.

I underestimated the role of support.

I misunderstood the degree of surrender required.

I was in the dark about the landscape of hospital vs. homebirth.

I didn’t know how to connect to my body and its wisdom.

I had no clue pleasure even had a place at the table of birth.

Let’s celebrate!

I hope you had a great Mother’s day, honoring and being honored.

There is no doubt that a mama is source for the child and the whole family.

So I wonder why, in our culture, for a mom to take care of herself beyond the basics- to desire pleasure- is considered frivolous or even selfish?

And to think about pleasure in birth? Well that is almost sacrilegious, if not absurd.

But let me ask you this- Would you have been happier, as a child, if your mother had been happier? Not. A. Doubt.

Now imagine a new mom, postpartum. Doesn’t she deserve to start the wild ride of motherhood from a place of joy, pleasure, and empowerment? Doesn’t her baby? That doesn’t feel sacrilegious or absurd at all. Expectant mamas and their babies deserve no less.

Oh. Shit.

Have you ever felt anxious when your cycle was a few days late?
Maybe you weren’t as careful as you should have been…that one time?
You weren’t planning on getting pregnant and now the thought that you might be…

Oh. Shit.

I know I have felt this- as well as the immense relief that follows when that gorgeous blood finally flows- more times than I’d like to admit.

I heard a statistic recently that claimed about half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. I did a little research and found that that not only is that an accurate statistic, but also about half of women in the US will experience an unintended pregnancy by the time they are 45. That’s a whole lot of babies potentially being greeted with those two little words.

But we aren’t going to go there.

What I would like you to think about is… what is the possibility of you enjoying childbirth if you are not 100% aligned with your pregnancy?

What about the baby?

My blog doesn’t mention babies all that much. The reason is very simple. There is a ton of information out there on what we moms need to have to should do for our babies. Of course, we all love our babies so much that we try to do them all. In the frantic rush to be the “best” mom, we can forget the single most important factor in a child’s quality of life- ourselves. Neglecting our own bodies and souls leaves us cranky and impatient, far from the moms we want to be for our kids.

As mothers we will do whatever it takes for our kids. Are you willing to do what it takes to give your child a happy mom? Your pleasure is important to the entire family.

Childbirth is just one scene in the grand landscape of motherhood, but it is a pivotal one. When you birth your child, you are also re-birthing yourself as a mom. Unfortunately, most births happen with little to no consideration of the birthing mama.

An Invitation…

You are invited to be the guest of honor at the soul shakin’, life-altering party known as Birth. Lady, we will place you on a pedestal and pamper you head to toe or maintain a respectful distance — whatever your heart desires. There might be some dancing, belly laughing, probably even some moaning. You can soak in a tub if you want. It all depends on your desire. We aren’t saying that it will be easy, but we can promise that there will be a lot of love. The energy of the universe will wrap its arms around you, fill you, and rock your core. Perhaps you’ll enjoy riding the waves as we welcome your child into this world. You’ll know how to get here. We will support you while your intuition guides you. Just listen to your body and do everything that it says.

Ecstatic Birth was founded to inspire and support women and birth service providers to raise their voices in an unwavering and collective “YES!” to all of these possibilities and more.

10 things you can do TODAY to invite ecstasy into your life and birth!

1. Plan this event like you would plan your wedding, so that every detail serves your pleasure. You wouldn’t choose a catering hall known for lousy food for your reception and just hope for the best, would you? Choose every detail of the birth with your highest pleasure in mind. And yes, that includes thinking about what you will wear.

2. Flood yourself with positive birth stories, images, and videos. Consciously reprogram your cultural concept of birth.

3. Knowledge is power. Enrolling in the most comprehensive childbirth education class you can find is just the starting point. Educate yourself to the max about every aspect of birth.

4. Begin a desire list for your birth. Write down every birth desire you have, however large or small. Read and update the list regularly.