Releasing fear and finding FLOW is a central theme in Birth on the best of days.
Now.. it is an imperative for us ALL.
We are all currently living in an active birthing field as everything around us is in a state of re-birth:
The “normalcy” of our day to day lives
How we relate and interact with other people
Our SYSTEMS.. from the economic to the medical
The environment, the planet we live on
This is the most widespread and powerful birthing field most of us have ever experienced in our lifetimes.
And we must do as we do in the birthing room–Put our attention on our BODIES to:
Actively release FEAR
Integrate our comfort measures,
Consciously bring OXYTOCIN flow into the body.
I can’t think of a more poignant shift to practice right now.
This blog post has been a long time coming. Perhaps when the intensity of a situation is so strong, some time has to pass before you can express your experience clearly in words.
I am a birthkeeper, meaning I hold the sacredness of this rite of passage near and dear to my heart and I do what I can to bring light to the world of childbirth. When the #1 word that comes to mind when women think of birth is “pain,” (way ahead of “baby” btw) there is plenty of light needed.
The past six months I have spent a lot of time in the presence of the opposite rite of passage, death. The experience of watching a beloved family member get sick, fade and pass before our eyes in a matter of months was heartbreaking on so many levels.
The birthkeeper in me also found it completely fascinating. Why? Because despite the intense sorrow there were many moments that were so profound, so full of love, so real and palpable that the sensation of grief in my body was tinged with something else.
It’s a feeling that I hesitate to call ecstasy because the context is so very different from how I usually talk about ecstasy.
Or is it?
Birth and death are the most pivotal rites of passages that we live as human beings here on this planet, both wrapped in the mysterious essence of our condition. Where do we come from and where do we go?
Recently, I was telling a friend about Ecstatic birth and I noticed that she had a dubious look on her face.
When I questioned her she asked- “So, you’re trying to teach women that they can ENJOY childbirth?”
Yes. I nodded, smiling. She shook her head condescendingly. “Well, that’s an oxymoron.”
Her reaction is totally understandable, given our cultural messages around birth, the endless TV shows depicting a birthing woman as a shrieking object waiting to be rescued by the doctor or drugs. Given the medicalization of birth, women are more likely to be trading birth war stories, than sharing tales of birth as a pleasurable empowering experience.
I’m totally thrilled to announce that things are changing.
Looking back on the last year, I realize my overarching theme emerged in full force with the Ecstatic Birth Body Series: “The more I melt into my body, the harder it is to deny my personal truths.”
And woah… we really saw how deep body connection can be an INTENSE journey. For some participants, the Body Series was a beautiful awakening into a conscious relationship with their bodies and inner wisdom. For others (and for me personally) – it was like looking the sun in the eye- blinding, terrifying, and always stunning.
It can be really tough to look that inner wisdom in the eye, especially when you’ve been using the full force of your rationality to passionately deny Deny DENY! Why would you ever want to deny a deep truth?
You will never guess where I am-
I’m cringing as I write this…
That is right. I am on vacation. And right now, my whole being is fully resisting sharing this information with you. Why? Because I just announced the details of the upcoming Ecstatic Birth Body Series. There is much work to be done. Shouldn’t I be taking this a whole lot more seriously? I mean, last time, I barely left my computer’s side and ran myself totally ragged getting ready. Shouldn’t I be doing that again?
When was the last time you stopped to think about what was next on your to-do list? If you are like most of us, it was probably just a few seconds ago.
But when was the last time you stopped to consult with your body, to feel what you were going to do next. If you are like most of us, you are probably thinking, “Ummm… I don’t remember.” (or Ummm….never!)
There are no two ways about it. We live in our heads. Even those of us that know, in our heads, that our body contains a whole lot of wisdom, forget to go there looking for it. And even when we do, chances are we aren’t quite sure we understand it, or believe it. I know I personally struggle with this all the time.
Childbirth is a full throttle body trip. We can use our heads to prepare, fill it with all kinds of information to empower us, help us relax, but when it comes down to it we need to be able to surrender ourselves over to our bodies. Raw. Primal. Body trip.
That can be pretty scary if you aren’t used to handing over the reins and it isn’t the sort of thing you can just order your mind to do. It is the sort of thing that takes practice and as we know, practice takes time.
You know that super high super giddy feeling of crazy energy running through you when you are soooooo excited about something?!?!?
I’ve been running on that since I launched the Ecstatic Birth Foundation Series. I am SO high off that baby. Let me show you why–
10 INCREDIBLE pioneers in the field of birth and sensuality,
Over 80 passionate women, 13 different countries, representing all 5 continents,
Pregnant women, birth professionals, and women who plan on getting pregnant someday, all cracking open their beliefs about birth together, in community!
Can you see why I’ve been positively jittery with excitement?
But staying high like that, let me tell you, it starts to feel really uncomfortable. I mean, I’m not used to energy of that magnitude running through my body and I noticed myself starting to block it, ignore it, shut it down…
We have just birthed a new year and with it a sense of freshness, a clean slate. Each new page gives us the opportunity to create, to birth anew. What is it that you long to birth this year?
Birthing any creative project is not so different from birthing a child. We can labor in the current cultural paradigm of “no pain no gain,” or we can take a stand for something different. We can consciously choose to birth our babies, real or ethereal, in pleasure.
This past year was the year I birthed my business and the Foundation Series- a beautiful baby that was bigger than I had even imagined. This was the first time that I actively brought my birthing consciousness to something other than birthing my own three children. As I wrote about previously, this launch offered me the opportunity to walk my talk and truly explore all the parallels between a live birth and a metaphorical one.
On the day of the launch, I experienced an intensity of emotion and list of to-dos that would have completely frozen my rational mind. But I had prepared for pleasure.