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Orgasms and Birth

When thinking about the idea of enjoying childbirth, there is nothing more intriguing… and hexing than the idea of an orgasmic birth. We are the children of Eve, or, at least, we have been brought up on that story. How could childbirth ever be physically pleasurable? Emotionally maybe, spiritually definitely, but physically?

If you take a moment, however, to really think about the body parts involved in birth- well, it isn’t as far of a reach as you might have thought, right?

The idea of orgasms and birth coinciding may take a bit of cultural reconditioning, but on a physical level they are quite complementary. There are two ways to think about it.

Orgasm as a birth tool.
Orgasm as a spontaneous part of the birthing process.

The first is relatively straightforward.
Orgasms can be used to jump start labor. They can be used to move a sluggish labor along. They can also, perhaps most intriguingly, be used to manage labor. How?
Orgasms are a powerful natural pain killer, more powerful than some of the strongest drugs out there. Don’t believe me? Google it. You will be flooded with all the research and stats.

The second- the idea of a spontaneous orgasmic birth is more slippery.

Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference

orgasmic birthWe just wrapped up the Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference! Were you able to join us?

My talk was about “Unleashing the Ecstasy in Birth” and I had the pleasure of speaking alongside my heroines, mentors, friends, and colleagues as we discussed transforming pregnancy, birth, and mothering to a positive, empowering, and pleasure-full experience.

It was groundbreaking, revolutionary and put forth a whole new paradigm of welcoming the next generation.

It is not too late. If you weren’t able to catch it live, you can purchase the entire experience here. Or consider doing  a trial membership of En*theos’s learning academy. You will get access to the entire Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference as well as their entire library of incredible wisdom, including several of my classes, and it only costs $10/month if you decide to stay on past the trial period.

Epidurals and Ecstasy?

One of the questions I get asked most often when I tell people about Ecstatic Birth is-

“Can you do this with an Epidural?”

The short answer is “Yes.”

The long answer involves a discussion around consciousness and nerve endings.

Ecstasy is a state of rapture that includes emotional, physical, and spiritual components. In childbirth, this is most likely when a woman operates from a place of consciousness and empowerment.

This can definitely include the decision to allow interventions as long as a woman is making that decision from a fully informed perspective, eyes wide open and connected to her own personal truth and inner wisdom. (Like in this story about an ecstatic c-section)

Untap your full pleasure potential

I am convinced that there is one thing that every woman can do to infinitely increase her pleasure in birth (and life!) —

Learn how to melt into a rolling, endless, full body orgasm…whenever she wants.

What do orgasms and childbirth have in common? Almost everything!

  • Same anatomy
  • Same ideal conditions
  • Same trance states
  • Same hormonal cocktails released

This might seem ironic, since orgasms and birth are typically seen as opposite ends of the pain/pleasure spectrum. However, pain and pleasure travel along the same neural pathways. They are closer in sensation than you may realize.

The Yin of Birth

This year I gifted myself the right to have summer vacation. It was a choice born from my anxiety, the pressure that I was putting on myself to be productive. So, just for fun, I threw it all out the window and told myself that for the summer I didn’t have to “do” and that I could just “be.”

Well, looking back, it is interesting for me to notice that it was a summer full of interesting conversations, connections, and events. Productive without a doubt (and without the pressure and anxiety.)

Being the birth junkie that I am, one of my great loves is seeing how life and birth mirror each other so fully.

Women are always asking me- how is it possible to have pleasure in childbirth? What do they have to “do” to have an ecstatic birth?

Well, truth is that there is so much that one can do to prepare…, but a whole lot of that involves learning how to be, and how to receive.

The Yin and Yang of our world is off balance. Yin, the feminine energy, the receptive energy of “being” is generally overwhelmed by Yang, the active masculine energy of “doing.”

It is the balance of the two that allows for harmony and that opens the door for pleasure.

Train for Pleasure

Pregnancy was an incredible, awe-inspiring experience for me.

I loved that my body was gestating a new life. I loved that it knew what to do, that it was tapping into a primal template and that I had to do very little in conscious support.

Pregnancy was an incredible, awe-inspiring experience for me.

I loved that my body was gestating a new life. I loved that it knew what to do, that it was tapping into a primal template and that I had to do very little in conscious support.

I wanted to feel that same sense of super-humaness with my birth experience. To feel that primal force move through my body and guide it to birth. The problem was, short of taking a natural childbirth class, I didn’t know how to prepare for that.

I had no idea about optimal birthing conditions.

I underestimated the role of support.

I misunderstood the degree of surrender required.

I was in the dark about the landscape of hospital vs. homebirth.

I didn’t know how to connect to my body and its wisdom.

I had no clue pleasure even had a place at the table of birth.

Dance with me

My mind can be so serious. If there is a problem, let’s discuss it, think about it, tackle it, fight. I tried arguing with the hospital staff during my first birth and learned that fighting leads to nowhere but pain and trauma.

I got wiser with my second and really thought about the issues, support, preparation, learning to surrender. I consciously created space for my mind to melt and my body to take over. That birth was much better.

My third birth was all about pleasure. Due to a sluggish labor, I started dancing. I danced that little girl down through my body and ecstasy replaced pain as my partner. Dance is one of the most sacred paths from maidenhood to motherhood.

Who knew dance could be so powerful?

Who knew pleasure is a force to be reckoned with???

Right now, 1 in 3 women on the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime.

This is serious stuff.

This coming Thursday, on Valentine’s Day, I will join ONE BILLION RISING a revolution of women and men who will WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to violence against women and girls.

A Force of Nature

I got to witness Hurricane Sandy up front and close. Out my living room window, I watched as some of the most massive trees on our property got uprooted and thundered to the ground. Trees that had been standing for hundreds of years, with circumferences of 3 or 4 feet, as solid as they make them. It was a humbling and terrifying spectacle.

I heard a teacher once share that fear of birth (and fear of women in general) is directly related to our fear of nature. This idea emerged in my mind as I contemplated Sandy. Yes, nature in its fury can definitely be terrifying, but usually it isn’t. On a day to day basis, nature is beautiful, glorious, and life affirming. Since we moved here into our little neck of the woods, I have soaked in stunning sunrises and reveled in autumn’s vibrant paintbrush. I have felt the energy of the trees, surround me, sustain me, and ground me. And yet, in the aftermath of the hurricane, I couldn’t help wondering if moving here wasn’t a mistake. The city seemed so much safer, more stable, as if Sandy had barely hit. But my body wholly resisted that thought with the knowledge of what I would be giving up- all the joy and pleasure that I experience everyday in living in the beauty of the natural world.

What is so sexy about birth???

Recently, I was telling a friend about Ecstatic birth and I noticed that she had a dubious look on her face.
When I questioned her she asked- “So, you’re trying to teach women that they can ENJOY childbirth?”
Yes. I nodded, smiling. She shook her head condescendingly. “Well, that’s an oxymoron.”

Her reaction is totally understandable, given our cultural messages around birth, the endless TV shows depicting a birthing woman as a shrieking object waiting to be rescued by the doctor or drugs. Given the medicalization of birth, women are more likely to be trading birth war stories, than sharing tales of birth as a pleasurable empowering experience.

I’m totally thrilled to announce that things are changing.

I need your help, BIRTH needs your help!!

My first birth left me wounded. Unable to sit and stand properly for days. I was emotionally dazed for over a year, only to be awakened by loss- miscarriage, after miscarriage. I was so dazed that it took deep grief, a sledgehammer over my head, to wake me. Fast forward to me, pregnant, fully healed body AND SOUL from the trauma of that first birth, I knew this birth had to be different. I could not be passive (again) and hope for the best. This birth was an invitation for me to embody my power, to mother myself, and my baby with all of my feminine ferocity. I was so terrified. How could I begin?