Archives

Nourish yourself with PLEASURE

THIS is the time of year that I look forward to ALL year. Here in New York it is FINALLY spring and with spring comes a rise in pure life force energy.

Now imagine you could ride the wave of that energy, fold that energy back into your body and allow it to melt your pleasure pathways W I D E open. Imagine that experience feels like a coming home to yourself, to a version of you that is more authentic than you’ve ever accessed, and with that expansion in pleasure within you are more able than ever before to delight in the pleasure that exists everywhere around you.

Ahhhhhh… this is the experience I have every time I do Saida Desilet’s Jade Egg Mastery Course. Which is why a few years ago, I decided to launch a Sensual Expansion study group based on her work–  because I wanted to ensure that I would commit to ME, and come home to my body and melt even deeper to the pleasure within every year.

This is a course that serves EVERY woman, but let me lay it out more clearly for you…

50 Shades of Truth

Wow what a phenomena 50 Shades has brought on…  releasing us from the shackles of our sexual repression. Or has it?

There is no doubt it has blasted open DESIRE…

… and with it conversations about sexuality and pleasure.50 shades

Thank you EL James for liberating us from the confines of sexual propriety. Thank you for bringing our deep feminine lust upfront and center.

We women are hungry for pleasure. There can no longer be any doubt about that and now we are a little less shy about it.

The 50 Shades trilogy feeds on women’s fantasies and truths.

Eternal truth #1 is that we want pleasure. We want rapture. We want to shatter and dissolve with the force of our orgasm.

All of this is true and yet I am so grateful that my daughters are too young to be a witness to any of this.

(Moms of teenage girls, I am holding a strong love beam over you at this moment in time.)

My objection has nothing (ok maybe just a very little) to do with the whips and chains and has everything to do with Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.

Essential Key #3: Pleasure

Let’s explore how you can best holistically support the natural process of birth with PLEASURE.

You read that right. Pleasure.

Pleasure is the most holistic birthing tool there is.

How is that possible when 90% of women associate birth with pain? Well, your birthing body and your sexual body are one and the same.

Babies and birth are not separate and distinct from sex, but rather they are the culmination of the sexual process.

This can feel a little weird given our current cultural messaging which tends to categorize all things sexual as “dirty” or “perverse.” Just look at all our foul language.. an overwhelming majority of “curse words” are sexually based.

There is no doubt we need a deep cultural healing around our sexuality. Let’s begin today by reclaiming our sexuality as an integral and sacred part of our beings. It is through our sexuality that we connect most deeply with another. It is through our sexuality that we bring forth new life into this world. There is nothing more sacred than that.

Pleasure is built into our birthing anatomy!

I’ve got some really big news!!….

As you know, I put a lot of emphasis on a woman deepening her connection to her body and sensuality.

Even though there are many many other aspects of ecstatic birth prep, a woman’s relation to her sexuality is where the physical experience of birth needs the most healing and where a woman’s pleasure potential in birth skyrockets.

Pleasure is not an indulgence, but the most powerful and holistic birthing tool there is. (tweet!)

I was recently reading this article and was blown away by the following statement regarding some recent research.

“…they measured pain thresholds during childbirth. They found a significant reduction in pain sensitivity as the baby started to emerge through the birth canal, a correlation with G-spot stimulus. They speculate that without the pain-reducing effect of vaginal stimulation, childbirth might be even more painful, and that the pain-reducing effect could lessen the stress of childbirth and thereby promote bonding between mother and newborn.”

This speaks directly to the fact that pleasure and orgasm are built into our biological birthing system. The quote talks about reducing pain, but I’d like to take it to the next level and say that our biological system encourages pleasure during birth.

Isn’t that amazing?!?! This is why I am all fired up today. Keep reading.. it gets better :)

So why why why if pleasure in birth is built into our biology, why do so many women experience pain??

There are infinite answers to this question ranging from politics, to religion, to societal and individual psychology and beyond…A woman can address each and every one of those issues and still experience pain rather than pleasure in birth.

The single most important factor that most women do not address…

…that it does not occur to them to address..

If I could teach one thing to my daughters…

1 3


The biggest thing that I have learned from my birth experiences is how to care for myself— that putting myself and my needs first gives me the capacity to care for others.

I’ve also learned that integrating pleasure into my self care gives me the capacity to care for others with joy.

And let me tell you… as a mother I am still working on that one. I have to practice every day. I have to remind myself and enlist friends to remind me too. Consciously taking my daily dose of pleasure is a doozy in a world that devalues pleasure, that is too busy for something as frivolous as PLEASURE.

Even though I have witnessed the gifts of pleasure firsthand (and teach them to expectant women for goodness sakes).. I still have to take myself back to basics in my practice on a regular basis.

Guess who benefits the most when I am in my pleasure?

My kids!

…and pretty much everyone else who comes in my path.

This is the gift that I desperately desire to share with every expectant mother.


This is the gift I most want to pass onto my girls.

The power of pleasure.

This Mother’s day, I invite you to give yourself and the women that you love that gift.

My friend and compatriot in the world of pleasurable birth, Debra Pascali-Bonaro and I are offering a free 21 day pleasure immersion.

Orgasms and Birth

When thinking about the idea of enjoying childbirth, there is nothing more intriguing… and hexing than the idea of an orgasmic birth. We are the children of Eve, or, at least, we have been brought up on that story. How could childbirth ever be physically pleasurable? Emotionally maybe, spiritually definitely, but physically?

If you take a moment, however, to really think about the body parts involved in birth- well, it isn’t as far of a reach as you might have thought, right?

The idea of orgasms and birth coinciding may take a bit of cultural reconditioning, but on a physical level they are quite complementary. There are two ways to think about it.

Orgasm as a birth tool.
Orgasm as a spontaneous part of the birthing process.

The first is relatively straightforward.
Orgasms can be used to jump start labor. They can be used to move a sluggish labor along. They can also, perhaps most intriguingly, be used to manage labor. How?
Orgasms are a powerful natural pain killer, more powerful than some of the strongest drugs out there. Don’t believe me? Google it. You will be flooded with all the research and stats.

The second- the idea of a spontaneous orgasmic birth is more slippery.

Untap your full pleasure potential

I am convinced that there is one thing that every woman can do to infinitely increase her pleasure in birth (and life!) —

Learn how to melt into a rolling, endless, full body orgasm…whenever she wants.

What do orgasms and childbirth have in common? Almost everything!

  • Same anatomy
  • Same ideal conditions
  • Same trance states
  • Same hormonal cocktails released

This might seem ironic, since orgasms and birth are typically seen as opposite ends of the pain/pleasure spectrum. However, pain and pleasure travel along the same neural pathways. They are closer in sensation than you may realize.

What is so sexy about birth???

Recently, I was telling a friend about Ecstatic birth and I noticed that she had a dubious look on her face.
When I questioned her she asked- “So, you’re trying to teach women that they can ENJOY childbirth?”
Yes. I nodded, smiling. She shook her head condescendingly. “Well, that’s an oxymoron.”

Her reaction is totally understandable, given our cultural messages around birth, the endless TV shows depicting a birthing woman as a shrieking object waiting to be rescued by the doctor or drugs. Given the medicalization of birth, women are more likely to be trading birth war stories, than sharing tales of birth as a pleasurable empowering experience.

I’m totally thrilled to announce that things are changing.

Turning birth upside-down and inside out

The way a woman gives birth is intimately intertwined with her approach to life and sensuality. Ecstatic Birth is a call to reconfigure our cultural conception of birth. It is a call to put childbirth back on its sacred pedestal and women back into an empowered relationship with their bodies and their experience of birth.

Our cultural and religious inheritance is that we are meant to suffer during childbirth. According to these messages, birth is something women have to endure, to survive, in order to get the baby prize. We look for somebody or something to save us from this experience. What we have lost in this model is our journey to motherhood, the gifts of birth that teach us and empower us towards mothering with our full feminine ferocity. In handing over our power in birth to something outside of ourselves — whether the medical community or even an idea of an “ideal” birth — we become a powerless object in the journey as opposed to an active participant. In order to reconnect with childbirth’s full capacity for deep transformative pleasure on many levels — emotional, spiritual, even physical — we must begin to reclaim our power in the birthing room. An empowered woman cannot be victimized.

10 things you can do TODAY to invite ecstasy into your life and birth!

1. Plan this event like you would plan your wedding, so that every detail serves your pleasure. You wouldn’t choose a catering hall known for lousy food for your reception and just hope for the best, would you? Choose every detail of the birth with your highest pleasure in mind. And yes, that includes thinking about what you will wear.

2. Flood yourself with positive birth stories, images, and videos. Consciously reprogram your cultural concept of birth.

3. Knowledge is power. Enrolling in the most comprehensive childbirth education class you can find is just the starting point. Educate yourself to the max about every aspect of birth.

4. Begin a desire list for your birth. Write down every birth desire you have, however large or small. Read and update the list regularly.